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Saturday, March 21, 2009

Just saw a girl "CHOPPED IN HALF BY A FREAKIN' JET" in Mazinkaiser.

(With a screencap like this, how can you not watch Mazinkaiser?)

It seems a little sacrilegious that I consider myself a “Super Robot” fan and yet before recently I’d never seen one episode of the “first ever Super Robot”, Mazinger Z (Well, actually that award probably goes to Testujin 28 or Giant Robo, but Mazinger is up there!)

But in anticipation of Imagawa’s new Mazinger series I’ve decided to fill this gap in my anime knowledge and watch some of this series. First up there’s the original series from the 70’s, I’ve been watching some things here and there of the original show, or as it was called in the US, TRANZOR-Z (I do wonder why they bothered to change the title, is Mazinger that much harder to say than Tranzor?) The animation might be sketchy by today’s standards, but everything we love about super robots today is still here in Mazinger Z. Crazy robot designs, AWESOME music, and robots punching each other. From a distance (ROCKET PUNCH!)
(The villains in Mazinger are quite EVVVVILLLL.)

Still, I have a lot’ trouble sitting through an entire super robot series. They’re fun for the first couple of episodes, but after 75 the monster of the week formula may have gotten stale.
The OAV’s of these shows are a lot better (at least for me) At the most they’ll be 13 episodes, with better animation, more badass characters and usually less annoying child characters. Mazinkaiser is one of those shows, made for that generation who grew up watching the first series, it seems to have everything which was awesome about the original with a few things which wouldn’t fly on a Saturday morning cartoon. (I can’t figure out why robots gush gallons of blood in Mazinkaiser, but it sure is cool.)

Super Robot shows are a tried and true formula. It goes like, introduce an evil robot, heroes attack robot dramatically, heroes get there ass handed to them, heroes return (Dramatically) with heroic music egging them on as they defeat the evil monster. Rinse repeat.
Shows like Mazinkaiser don’t try to change this, they just run with the concept and have a whole lot of fun with it. If you don’t want to see robots fighting each other in a dramatic fashion, while our heroes make manly speeches and state how awesome they are, please leave immediately.

Though, if I had one complaint with these OAV’s of older super robot shows, like Mazinkaiser, it’d be the way in which they try to attract an older audience. This is a show about giant toys fighting each other, do we really need the random fan-service every episode? Even the violence feels out of place. I mean sure, its totally awesome when Kouji Kabuto kills a girl by driving a Jet through her chest (you heard me) But do her clothes have to rip of while this happens?

(Took this picture before her shirt magically flies off.)

But then it cuts to the robots again, as they rocket punch mechanical monster into oblivion, and I forget these flaws. The egregious fan-service is a minor price to pay for a few hours of robots beating the shit out of each other.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

GMA-Thanks for helping to wreck my country to the ground you assfucks

Now, before I begin, I have a story to tell. In highschool, I took a media class. It was the most god-awful boring class in the world. It also didn’t help that the teacher was an utter dick who wrote like a fucking epileptic retard. He would hand papers back, and his comments were indecipherable. I would come up to his desk to ask him which word was which.
‘Uh, sir, what does this say?’
‘and , uh this one?’
‘oh, ok thank you sir’.

Now the teacher wasn’t all that bad, he was actually a decent guy. He just didn’t really seem to know where his priorities lie. or he just didn’t give a shit about us, which was commendable, and quite understandable. Now, the funny thing is, this class, is the one I remember the most. Its lessons sticking to me like dead flies on fly paper. The most important thing I learnt was “televisions uses emotion, to sell you anything and everything”. And the news is the guiltiest at this, their selling you fear. Television on the other hand uses emotion to sell you, well, literally everything. From food, to personal hygiene products. But don’t worry citizens, sure here in the western world, we’re kind of starting to detach from the whole hubbub of this television commercial relationship mess. (Now it’s just an all out war between us, the consumer and them, the companies; who will try to push their product on us like a group of glorified drug lords).

But this isn’t really about the whole issue of commercialism; I want to talk about television in the Philippines, my home country. Now my personal friends know that I’m a self hating filipino, but it is not a hate towards being Filipino. No, I’m actually proud to be Filipino. I’m proud of the fact that we have a martial art that uses rebar covered in light foam for duelling and that we export the largest amount of child pornography (suck it you thai-boxing bastards!) But, what I am not proud of is how the Philippines is running it’s self into the ground. Our people are going into further poverty and the country is not going to be any better. Not with the presence of GMA, the worst TV channel in the world. Now, I will give them this, they did play some of the most awesome anime on TV and got me hooked to anime. I mean they played Voltes V and mojacko for fuck’s sake!

BUT as I reflect back and look at it now, it is disgusting decadent and retarded. Pure retardation. One of the biggest examples of this is that they have three, count them THREE fucking shows just for celebrity talk. THEN they have three more variety shows dedicated to MORE celebrities. You know what this does? It takes away from what’s important. It tells the people “hey man, Francis M’s death? Yeah more important that the fact that we have more murders than in most countries. You know Gaby Conception was seen with another woman? Yeah more important than the poverty rates and rising gas prices.” But the news media is surprisingly eye opening. It’s as if it’s a subtle but deep stab at society. One time, I saw how they reported on this large festival involving the poor people. And they showed all these idiots who believed that by touching a cloth touched by the statue, their lives will default to something better. They also showed these people running towards the statue, getting run by the cart, people accused of stealing.

It was religious chaos, and it was retarded, and the news media showing it knew it, and they knew it good. But, they still sell fear, but I think in the Filipino context, if you talk about a murder, it would be a common thing and not at all shocking. Since even living conditions for the middle class aren’t much higher than low class citizens (it’s high enough to live a nice peaceful life). But the news media is still trying to sell its reporters as people who you have to be attached to like characters in a bad “telebabad” (filipino soaps, and don’t get me started on them, this would be longer than needed)
Now, to those who are media savvy and are into Marshal MacLuhan’s theories about TV, you will see that the Filipino TV is like that, but worse, MUCH WORSE.

Another example is when this asshat, some fucker named Francis M died. They wouldn’t shut up about it. They wouldn’t even show what he did or how he was relevant to humanity. All they said was He was just a “nice guy” or he was “my friend” OR “he worked with us, so we’re only doing it out of corporate obligation. When I die, I want people to say things like “I remember how he saved my ass form poverty” or “I remember when he saved a small child from being raped by a bear”.
Or the most awesome “I remember when he conquered the song empire for all of the Mongol peoples, gave us sweet meats, slept with the women of his enemies, rode their horses and ate their foods.” (That one I would have said for my homeboy Genghizzle Kahn). What I’m trying to say is that, just like American television, It shares the same problems. But the problems are magnified and worsened in Filipino television.

Things are so sensationalized that even the lives of stars are being sold similarly as real life soap operas. I guess this all comes from the fact that the poor outweigh the middle class and the rich. So there is this demand for escapism, but escaping doesn’t fix problems, it only lets them fester and grow. I guess what I’m trying to say is, fuck you Francis M, may you be burning and hell, and I hope the Filipino infrastructure crumbles, so when it looks up and shouts “save us” I will be standing there, looking down and whispering “no”. Also fuck you GMA, keep poisoning the masses with your arbitrary garbage. I hope you all puke and die on it.

P.S. This article does not do justice to the rage I am feeling at this moment, so again, go suck a cock GMA execs, may Satan and God double team your mouths and asses in the afterlife. Like they are doing to your precious Francis M, I hope he is being double teamed by God and Satan, you fucks.